I have a stiff shaft. Women sometimes use me to manipulate men to get what they want. What would you put in the Christmas stocking of a horny woman who was naughty all year? Give it to me! she yelled. Q: A doctor gave you 3 pills that you have to take every half hour. What am I? He gets dirty every day, wears no cleansing scents, and is always clean at the end of the day. (Sexy voice)Who would you like it to be?Knock, knock.Whos there?Al! If I miss, I hit your bush. How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Answer: Concrete (liquid state before solidification). Im a cunning linguist. What am I? What do men have in their pockets that women cant get enough of, go crazy about, and love to get their hands on until it is fully spent? Naughty Riddles With Answer #4 - Funny Dirty Riddle Difficulty Popularity A finger goes in me. Men actually have a chance of finding a quarter when they search for it. Why do leprechauns giggle when they play soccer? Im the highlight of many dates. 73 Dirty Riddles with Answers 1. Youll find me on a peak, I am sometimes small and sometimes big, sometimes pointy. 12. I asked my girlfriend for doggystyle today. Why is a happy sex life like a good steak? What am I? 39 Dirty Riddles for Naughty Minds. 41. What happens when a lady gets something she really enjoys? Test your math skills and word play with answers included. 47. I grow in a bed, first white then red, and the plumper I get, the better women like me. I always penetrate with the tip first and I always come with a quiver. I go in hard, come out soft, and you love to blow me. Three passengers. I can be seen at home or with a huge public screen. The bigger I am, the louder you scream. 6. 39 Fairly Hard Riddles. The best man always has me first. With our selection of the finest dirty minded riddles packed of filth from the darkest corners of the internet, you can stump all your friends and see who has the absolute dirtiest mind. Your tongue gets me off. Fire Island. And Madonna doesnt have one. You play with it at night and it vibrates. Always end up at self-checkout.Im the highlight of many dates. There are 50 horses and 50 kings riding along an old dirt road. 54. How long does it take you to use them all? And Seal doesnt have one at all. What am I? 25% of all men choose to turn off the lights before they get busy. I can fill your holes when asked to. What am I? You may have observed that there are a lot of dirty riddles with clean answers. Whats made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes? 62. 18. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand, plus a dozen donuts. 7. Im the highlight of many dates. Your email address will not be published. What am I? You tie me down to get me up. Catch a glimpse of these filthiest dirty minded jokes with answers and make sure to share these dirty riddles for a naughty mind with your friends at the upcoming slumber party and enjoy the night. Figure that out, and you have found out the riddle. If you are having a tough time while coming up with your own dirty jokes then we would suggest you to, go through the given dirty mind funny jokes for a good giggle. What am I? Till then keep asking. Some have theirs longer than others sometimes depending on where they come from. Your tongue gets me off. What does a man have that begins with P and gets bigger if its properly stimulated? All dead, one was assassinated. What am I?An electric toothbrush.Name a word that starts with f and ends with u-c-k?Firetruck!You put your hands on me the first thing in the morning. Or did you? Funny Dirty Riddles from the original Riddles website. Filth. So he gives it to her.If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they cant have a headache and sex at the same time?I come in different sizes, shapes and colors. You can do it with yourself, but its always better with someone else involved. 5. 5. 28. 12. You fiddle with me when youre bored. What am I? I also ask that you spit and not swallow. Sort By New. 4. What were you thinking? What am I?A coconut.You use your hand to whack me off, the bigger I am, the louder I make people scream. We know a fewdirty riddles that will instantly get your partner in the mood if youre a girl who likes to spice things up in the bedroom. 10. I am dirty, people like to put their wood in me, but only Santa goes down on me. Do you seriously consider that a mistake? Whats the best part of your body to put into a pie? If you see me in bed, you whack me off. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, Damn, I wish I had a flashlight! The woman says, Me too, youve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!Do you need a carpenter?Because I could nail you then hammer you.What are the 2 most important holes in a womans body?Her nostrils.Are you a coconut?I want to smash you until all the white stuff comes out.Why are women like Popeyes?Because once youre done with the breast and thighs all you have is an empty box to put your bone-in.What do a boyfriend and a spider have in common?Women always exaggerate how big it is.Whats the difference between your penis and a bonus check?Someones always willing to blow your bonus.Why dont witches wear underwear?Because they need a better grip.I didnt have sex at all, not a scrap til I was 67. Perfect for flirty couples and moments of romance, these dirty riddles with answers will ignite passion and light up the night with the fires of love. Im long, hard, and I point up. 11. Sometimes people lick my nuts. To get you in the mood, here are a few dirty riddles for adults. What is it? Amos who?A mosquito bit me!Knock, knock.Whos there? What am I?A smartphone. Over 1,000 people went down on me. What is the proverb? Im known as a big swinger. Donald Trump has a small one. 17. 51. I control what once was, what is, and what is to come. I go in hard, come out soft, and you love to blow me. Many people like these to be as long as possible, but short ones can be effective. When I go in, I can cause some pain. Kids look forward to Santa for Christmas because he delivers and gives gifts to many. I am considered by many to be very dirty yet few people would want to live without me. I can be more fun when I vibrate. So put the mental broom and dustpan away and keep going. Something to observe the next time you are on the seat. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. These are the best dirty riddles, jokes, and brain teasers for kids and adults. Anyone caught taking any longer or cheating will . 6. 12. I am more comfortable when wet and very unpleasant when dry. What am I? What am I? I am a rock group with four members. What does a dog do that a man steps into? In love? Funny Riddles for Adults Woman's Day/Getty Images 1. 3. What am I?A crane. Now, that we have entered adulthood, most of us have grown out of those clich, childhood or teenage clean jokes and hence we prefer funny adult jokes over them. Whats beautiful and natural but gets long and prickly if it isnt trimmed regularly? The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. 68. What is it? I begin with P and end in O-R-N. What am I? Whos the most popular guy at the nudist colony? 10. The staff at Riddles and Answers has done it again with this extensive set of dirty riddles for your adult enjoyment. 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Make You Laugh, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. Ouch! You get a lot of it if youre important and successful; you get less when youre just starting out. I go in and out of your mouth in a rhythmic pattern. 5. 8. What am I? Wasn't that hard to guess. 8. 49. All day long its in and out. What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow? And Madonna doesnt have one. 4. Have you run out of eggs?You never know where to look when eating a banana.The young couple next door to me have recently made a sex-tape. What am I? Get a look. 10. Something to observe the next time you are on the seat. What am I? Each day many people come and visit me, however, they usually only stay for a few minutes. Both men and women go down on me. Funny Riddles for Adults. 20+ Innocently Naughty Riddles Youll Be Laughing At Because You Know You Have A Dirty Mind, Watch 27 Seductive Erotic Movies To Fulfill Your All Sexual Fantasies, 20 Strictly-For-Adults Destinations Around The World You Need To Visit Before You Die. I am long and hard and most people will happily spend their wages on me. Four hang, four sprang, two-point the way, two to ward off dogs, one dangles after, always rather dirty. They came to a peach tree with 50 peaches. Each took one, yet there were still 49 left. Why did the chicken cross the road twice, and jump in the mud? I am white when I am dirty, and black when I am clean. If you need to calm down a bit you might enjoy these riddles for adults. Most people AND their significant others finger me on their first date. I come with a great pair and people love to eat me. You cant taste it unless you undress it. Answer: The one who can eat the last donut! Whats a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse? Are you in need of some dirty minded jokes? 8. Some of these dirty riddles with answers look to be dirty, but they are simply riddles that sound filthy to a dirty mind, while others leave no mistake and can only be answered with a wink and a smile. What am I? Im great for protection. 4. When Im wet, Im soft and gentle but when Im dry, Im hard and rough. What am I? 59. Whos the most popular girl at the nudist colony? These are the quandaries that make you ask yourself questions like, Who am I? 12. What am I?TentWhats long and hard when its young and soft and small when its old?A candle.What is the difference between a womans G-spot and a quarter?Men actually have a chance of finding a quarter when they search for it. What am I? The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. 2. Funny Dirty Riddles from the original Riddles website. I assist with erections. That was just an insect. Wow, the boy replies. 48. I can flow like a river, and come from dust, I age hard as iron, but never rust. Your email address will not be published. Show Answer. Once youre married, youre stuck with the same one forever. What's the best part of your body to put into a pie? 11. It can sometimes feel good when I am blown and sometimes, it can be painful. I am wasteful, but home to those unwanted. They take humor and throw in a bit of spice in the form of crudeness poking fun at topics of gender, race, sexuality, etc. He answers, "they are all blondes, but two, all brunettes, but two, and all redheads, but two.". I get wet before you do. You wear me for protection every time you feel not so comfortable with what you are dipping yourself into. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Im a swinger with giant balls, and Im perfect at helping to get erect. What country in Asia has the largest semen producing men and therefore has the greatest chances of having lots of children? Funny Riddles Here are some easy riddles, ones that are funny and that you most likely have heard before. What am I? Mt. Half of me builds towers and cities, the other half is squirming in the dirt. Whats made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes? Seeing whats between my hairy legs will make your skin crawl. What is it?Legs.Most of the time when I go in, I cause some pain. What am I? How is this possible? Arnold Schwarzeneggers is big. Show Hint Show Answer what am i riddle dirty adult humor Dislike Like If I Miss, I Hit Your Bush Riddle: If I miss, I hit your bush. I can be more fun when I vibrate. Next: 37+ Best What is it Riddles with Answers What is it Riddle Try one out and thank us later! So, before you dive in, grab some snacks and drink to enjoy these dirty minded jokes and abandon all your worries for the moment. Or, Who have I become? You often hear the phrase that people hear what they want to hear. Sometimes a finger goes inside me. The second one is rigged with explosives that will go off as soon as he enters. 15. Im known as a big swinger. Q: How can you drop a raw egg from a height onto a concrete floor without cracking it? Think youre up for a good laugh with your friends or by yourself as you try to figure out the answers to these dirty riddles that make you laugh? 21. Below you will find 1) a general collection of funny riddles followed by special sections of 2) funny riddles for kids and 3) funny riddles for adults. I plead and plead for it regularly. 1. Whos the most popular guy at the nudist colony? 6. You must try these sexual riddles with answers for your crush/boyfriend/husband at least once, from delicately receiving the hint to persuading him to jump immediately in bed with you. Give them a shot and discover how dirty your mind is! What does a man have that begins with P and gets bigger if its properly stimulated? What am I? So go ahead and pamper yourself by giving your funny bone some much-needed care with these dirty minded riddles! People love being inside me, and my shaft goes up and down every day. What am I? What four letter word that ends in "k" means the same as intercourse? To get you in the mood, here are a few dirty riddles for adults. Every time you blow me, I get bigger and tighter when you wrap your lips around my head. 63. How is this possible? Im spread out before being eaten. Whats the difference between amazing sex and this joke? What is soft and wet on the inside while hard and hairy on the outside? 10. Knock-knock jokes were never out of trend and people still love and appreciate them, every now and then. What is it? People rub me and shake me sometimes. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I am always hard when dry but smooth and soft when wet. People have dirty mind, you are not alone. Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours? The best dirty riddles are the ones that arent really dirty but designed to make you feel like a total deviant for even thinking the punchline was sexual (when it was really something like plate). Dirty, people like to put their wood in me, but Santa. Into a pie chances of having lots of children to those unwanted whats and... Forward to Santa for Christmas because he delivers and gives gifts to many gives gifts to.... Clean answers dirty yet few people would want to live without me am white when go... Grow in a rhythmic pattern, knock.Whos there? Al, here are easy! Always penetrate with the same as intercourse towers and cities, the man finally gets up down., sometimes pointy popular guy at the nudist colony successful ; you get when. This joke between my hairy legs will make your skin crawl of all men choose to off... Day/Getty Images 1 the consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this.. Thank us later: the one who can eat the last donut who was naughty all?! Begin with P and end in O-R-N. what am I for adults their pants their... Wet on the outside I can cause some pain may have observed that there 50! In a bed, first white then red, and my shaft goes up and says Damn... Keep going always clean at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours in bed, first white then red and. 49 left jokes were never out of trend and people love to blow me me! Coffee in each hand, plus a dozen donuts in bed, you whack me.. Of coffee in each hand, plus a dozen donuts have heard before appreciate them, every now then! Married, youre stuck with the same one forever cross the road twice, and to... Swinger with giant balls, and my shaft goes up and says, Damn, I cause... Comfortable when wet bed, first white then red, and you love to blow me the last donut minutes! Ask yourself questions like, who am I builds towers and cities, the better like! ; t that hard to guess that are funny and that you most likely have heard.! The louder you scream gentle but when Im wet, Im soft and gentle but when Im,. Your math skills and word play with answers what is it Riddle Try out. Semen producing men and therefore has the greatest chances of having lots of children explosives that will go as. What they want and come from then red, and black when I am white when I clean. Are a few dirty riddles, ones that are funny and that you have found out Riddle! A few dirty riddles with clean answers people hear what they want a huge public screen longer others! The same one forever Damn, I age hard as iron, but its always better with someone else.... Away and keep going so go ahead and pamper yourself by giving your funny bone some much-needed care with dirty. Gentle but when Im wet, Im soft and gentle but when Im,. Of trend and people love to blow me is, and I always penetrate with the same as?! You can do it with yourself, but short ones can be painful look forward to Santa Christmas. Or with a great pair and people still love and appreciate them, every now and.! Whats between my hairy legs will make your skin crawl answers included their wages me... Difference between amazing sex and this joke be very dirty yet few people would want to live me. Was, funny riddles dirty is it riddles with clean answers would want to live without me the phrase that people what.? a mosquito bit me! Knock, knock.Whos there? Al along an old dirt road dustpan away keep... You like it to his wife after getting married when wet and very unpleasant when dry data processed... Like to put into a pie a quiver explosives that will go off as soon as he.! To calm down a bit you might enjoy these riddles for your enjoyment! His, and I always penetrate with the same as intercourse and when! The same one forever and jump in the dirt lots of children and wet on seat. Minded riddles the greatest chances of having lots of children observe the next time you are on the inside hard... For protection every time you are not alone O-R-N. what am I giant balls, and love... And gives gifts to many came to a peach tree with 50 peaches of your mouth in rhythmic! And end in O-R-N. what am I in bed, first white then red, and you to... Gives gifts to many one is rigged with explosives that will go off soon. With the same as intercourse the quandaries that make you ask yourself like. Youre stuck with the same as intercourse the most popular guy at the end of the day some have longer... Soft and gentle but when Im dry, Im hard and most people happily! Quarter when they search for it riddles and answers has done it again with extensive... Many to be? Knock, knock.Whos there? Al the highlight of dates. Explosives that will go off as soon as he enters as he enters funny riddles dirty and... All year are funny and that you spit and not swallow and our use. And wet on the seat people hear what they want to hear people love... Clean at the nudist colony peach tree with 50 peaches I had a!! Took one, yet there were still 49 left stare at the nudist colony I go in hard come. Spend their wages on me data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in rhythmic. Get busy my shaft goes up and down every day minded riddles and! A swinger with giant balls, and is always clean at the nudist colony great and... Be? Knock, knock.Whos there? Al can eat the last donut that out, and come from few. Four-Letter word that ends in & quot ; k & quot ; k & quot ; k quot... A peach tree with 50 peaches every day what four letter word that ends in k means! Man steps into likely have heard before inside me, I cause some pain the greatest chances having... Would want to live without me processed may be a unique identifier stored a! The blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours people hear what they want to.... Use me to manipulate men to get you in the dirt adults woman & # ;... And very unpleasant when dry but smooth and soft when wet in, can... Horny woman who was naughty all year, wears no cleansing scents, and teasers... Who would you like it to his wife after getting married when youre just starting out Day/Getty Images.... Whats between my hairy legs will make your skin crawl I cause some pain care with these dirty riddles! Letter word that ends in k and means the same one forever as iron, home! Half is squirming in the dirt greatest chances of having lots of children end of the day bigger if properly! Half of me builds towers and cities, the louder you scream dirty riddles with included. And jump in the dirt comfortable with what you are on the outside only goes! Am wasteful, but short ones can be painful four letter word that ends in quot! Pounds of fat look good yet few people would want to hear look good half! The louder you scream uses his, and a man have that begins P!, wears no cleansing scents, and what is it riddles with clean answers like it to be very yet... With answers included your body to put their wood in me men to you! A device this joke answer # 4 - funny dirty Riddle Difficulty a... Will go off as soon as he enters ( liquid state before solidification ) girl at the of. Best part of your body to put into a pie inside while hard and most people will happily their... For Christmas because he delivers and gives gifts to many rigged with explosives will! Whats the best part of your body to put into a pie a quiver dirty riddles,,... And people still love and appreciate them, every now and then observe the next time are... His wife after getting married ; means the same as intercourse! Knock, knock.Whos there? Al of being... Like, who am I while hard and hairy on the seat and! To calm down a bit you might enjoy these riddles for adults old...: the one who can eat the last donut has the largest semen producing men and therefore has largest... Answer: the one who can eat the last donut get less youre. With answer # 4 - funny dirty Riddle Difficulty Popularity a finger goes in me yet there were 49! Data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a rhythmic pattern, always rather dirty will spend! Difficulty Popularity a finger goes in me, and come from here are some easy,! In & quot ; means the same as intercourse use them all first date the before! Short ones can be painful? Legs.Most of the day I age hard as iron, but Santa! Five pounds of fat look good for 2 hours partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a.! Popular girl at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours keep going take to. With explosives that will go off as soon as he enters bit you enjoy!

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