6. With the rise of self-driving vehicles, its only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guys truck leaves him too. After a while, the truck driver decides to show him what's what. Then they began fittin, "My boys, to just one of you I will leave my fortune. -o-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; They both have a semi. Why cant truck drivers ever fully retire? 15. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-twitter a i { A genie comes out and says, Thank you for releasing me, master. You'll meet new people along the way and you get . Click here for more information. Order yours today. The truck driver motioned for Kevin to pull over.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-2','ezslot_28',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-2-0'); When Kevin did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. display: block; He thought hed do a good turn so he pulled the truck over and said to the priest, Wherere you going, Father?, The priest answered, Im going to the church 3 miles down the road.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_21',667,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_22',667,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_1');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_23',667,'0','2'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_2');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_24',667,'0','3'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_3');.large-mobile-banner-2-multi-667{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:3px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:3px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:300px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, No problem, Father! said the trucker, Ill give you a lift. A tow truck driver is pulling a lady out of the ditch. So the hitch-hiker lies down and is soon asleep. The trucker said, Yeah, when I saw your flashing light, I knew I was screwed!, I was walking down the street today when breakdown truck driver pulled up alongside me and said, Excuse me, Im looking for the accident site involving a van carrying a load of cutlery., No problem, I said. Lucky I got him with the door!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_12',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Trucker stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. The first two were all bandaged up, looking like they'd been in a train wreck. A blonde is taking her new sports car out for a drive on the highway. I like the truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut. Nov 29, 2015 - Explore US CDL Jobs's board "Truckdriver Funny", followed by 635 people on Pinterest. console.warn('PixelYourSite: no pixel configured. A truck transporting ice cream spilled on the highway. Thinking it could not hurt to help a servant of god he stopped and asked the pr, Got in off the road last friday. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. lol..but you can't do that anymore with the electronic log books. Changed a lot of stuff, and added a buttload of new things to make this seem as normal as possible. #af-form-1702128069 .af-body { Whoever can sell it for the highest price will be worthy of everything I leave behind", Researchers for the Swansea Authority found over 200 dead crows near M4 recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. 4. When the light turned green the man waited so as to put some distance between himself and t, A couple has been dating for a few months. A truck carrying camping gear spilled on the highway. I'm pulling this from memory. You cant keep these penguins in your truck! The cop said, You need to take them to the zoo!. It was quite a traffic jam. Onlookers are said to be stunned, bewildered, dumbfounded, astonished, startled, speechless, and amazed. #text-62 { After constantly asking her, she finally agrees to go out with him. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying THUMP as he did so, and then swerve back onto the road. From $22.87. "Keep calm and keep on Truckin'.". He ordered a cheeseburger, a coffee and a slice of apple pie. font-size: 21px; The truck driver didnt say a word as he paid the waitress and left. var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; "Let's play a game. With a bit of confusion she hastily replies "I am not pregnant". Turn around now before its too late!. After driving for 10 hours, a truck driver got pulled over by a police officer. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Astonished, the other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie. A bird pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely *not* Avian Flu. -ms-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; background:#3f729b; }); A truck driver was speeding down the highway. An Aussie truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth when he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker by the side of the road. This is a vid of a siri taking back to truckdriver and the agruments is hilarious. "City boys got pickup lines. Truck driver: Never mind the tail light, wheres my trailer!? #Trucking #StarWars #NextTruck, Here's a truck that will take you back to your childhood! One day this man had gotten home from work and saw this boy in his neighborhood sitting outside on the sidewalk with a bag of M&Ms and an Alley Cat. Go straight down this road for 1 mile, then take the first left, and when you get to the fork in the road youre there., A trucker stops for a red light one day and notices a blonde in the car behind. One a normal day of trip, truck driver realized that his brake system was busted, and he was going full speed. ", He slams a thousand dollar note on the receptionist's table and says "Give a cheese sandwich and one of your ugliest women". (sorry) Can't remember them all. But Neil wouldn't be Neil were it that he sings a song every five minutes: "I'm Neil and I fuck behind the wheel". The officer pulls the truck over. You start with two million dollars. .postid-65275 #text-html-widget-2{display:none;} This truck driver is going down the highway and he sees a hitchhiker on the road. text-align: center; He was holding a cat, and what looked like a pack of Tic-tacs. LinkTo.Directory, Seventeen Jokes And Puns About Truck Drivers, In the US and probably worldwide, people are counting on their truck drivers to help make sure grocery shelves are kept stocked as we build upon on. From $19.84. } Trucker would amuse himself by running over lawyers. 7. He then went to Kevins car and cut up its leather seats. The felon is still at large. What has four wheels and flies? Whats a truckers favorite kind of house? Driver: I need a clean, toll-free personal road from NY to CA. He went up to the food truck owner. They park and come inside, looking for some action. Opting out is easy, so give it a try. Anonymous Truck Driver Quotes and Sayings. See more ideas about truck driver, humor, trucker quotes. Ill have the same, says the emu. TOPIC. .rll-youtube-player, [data-lazy-src]{display:none !important;}. - Erma Bombeck. A truck carrying honey spilled on the highway. if (d.getElementById(id)) return; Today Im taking them to the movies.. He lived across the street from a lever, that if pulled, the world would end. Want to go for a spin?, 16. Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. Here, I'll buy you another drink. A trucker gets lost one day, and as luck would have it, he comes to a low bridge and gets stuck under it. Consolidated Freight--- Corn Flakes. } The hitchhiker is ecstatic and agrees, thankful that he can cover more ground quickly. js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; TopMark Funding The cop gets out and walks around to the truck driver. We achieve this by being your truck financing advisor, guiding you toward the best financial decisions for your trucking business. longer hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns. We specialize in commercial trucking and heavy equipment. He had sized up the situation and then advised to the trucker to let some air out of his tires, so he could move on. Only crush their tiny legs and arms. And do you have a reason for speeding?. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. For the most part its a perfect relationship. } A tow truck driver is pulling a lady out of the ditch. The officer turns on his siren and chases the truck, which only makes it speed faster. He stops and shes out of breath. Sigh. Liked these trucker jokes? I told you to take the penguins to the zoo!, The driver looks up and says I took them yesterday! Roadway--- Really Old Ass Driver Working Another Year. Moral of the story: Better Nate than lever. Why cant test tube babies be truck drivers? The trucker gets up and leaves without a word, and the bikers sit down, order, and eat. } Pinterest. } The trucker lowers the window, and the blonde says to him, Hi, my names Julie and I thought you should know youre losing some of your load.. Truck Quotes And Sayings. Nov 7, 2018 - Explore Tia's board "Truck driver humor/ issues" on Pinterest. padding: 0 0 7px; $1.75. The average salary is $25,000, but plan to pull in about $300 to $600 per week all summer. The bartender obliges and pours him another whiskey. Commercial Trucking, Guides, Regulations, Semi Trucks, Trucking Industry, Your email address will not be published. They are the best you will find. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. He pauses and calmly states "you are not out of the ditch yet". :). When he turned around, Kevin had a slight grin on his face, so the driver said, Oh you think thats funny? Believe it or not, being a truck driver offers tons of benefits. } So do police officers. At the next red light, the woman gets out of her car and says again, Excuse me sir, you are spilling your cargo., The third red light, the woman gets out, and before she can repeat herself, the trucker says Excuse me, maam, I am driving a salt truck in Iowa!. Many of them can be played with wheel and brakes too. How could score that?, Well, replied the instructor, I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. The trucker replies, I did, and it was a lot of fun! color: #000 !important; Is there anything else youd rather have?, The trucker thinks for another minute and says I wish my wife would stop nagging me. The genie replies, All right, how many lanes do you want for that road?. You need to take those penguins to the zoo. border-radius: 50px; Enjoy these jokes and puns about truck drivers. He came to an old farmhouse and knocked on the door. Even though he was surehed missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD. She says yes and they proceed. Tow truck drivers must see a lot of action. 9. Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying "THUMP", and then swerve back onto the road. The man says to him, "Oh, thank God you're here. Fill out the contact form or give us a call at(866) 627-6644. I tried to get a shipment of fire hydrants from the factory that makes em, but I wasnt allowed to stop anywhere near the place! Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances? .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame li a i { The second biker picked up the truckers coffee and downed it in one gulp. A police officer tells a man. Eventually the truck pulls over. } It cost him a lot of time. He says to her, "You're the second pregnant lady I've pulled out of the ditch today.". So a guy decides he wants to date this girl. 14. It wasnt long beforea cop stopped by to check things out. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. line-height: 1em; I will grant you one wish., The trucker thinks for a moment and says, I would like my own personal, private, toll-free road from New York to California., The genie shakes his head and says, There are far too many federal, state, and local regulations involved, that would be too difficult. A truck transporting biohazards spilled on the highway. He stops and asks, "You need a ride?" Now I mean like he really hated them lawyers. } text-align: center; A truck driver will come by every week or so, and pick up the empty skids so they can be reused. #WideLoad #Trucking #NextTruck, Happy Tuesday! text-align: center; width: 280px !important; One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi-truck as a practical joke. He pulls over and looks around, but can't see anyone. - Rita Rudner. Thinkingthat the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman said, Did I just see you swallow something?, The truck driver replied, Yeah, that was my birth control pill.. I'm from Germany, so I hope it doesn't get lost in translation. Truckers are getting into trouble with environmentalists for animal cruelty these days. The truck driver tells him to lay down in the trucks sleeper compartmentand have a rest. What do you call a queue of trucks? The first day a man walks up to the bar, orders his drink, then inquires about the sign. } width: 30%; However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD. As they pay the bill the first one talks to the waitress and says, That trucker that was in here earlier wasnt much of a man, was he?. The best humor is more personal, such as hearing trucker jokes to help liven up the trip. Apr 23, 2020 - Explore NextTruck's board "Trucking Humor", followed by 3,921 people on Pinterest. Take advantage of our Low Flat Rate Shipping . and he sees a beautiful woman hitchhiking. He says to her, Youre the second pregnant lady Ive pulled out of the ditch today. With a bit of confusion, she hastily replies, Im not pregnant. He pauses and calmly states, youre not out of the ditch yet.. when three big, burly bikers walked in. Check out our truck driver humor selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. A police officer was monitoring the highway .When he saw a pickup truck going 20 miles below the speed limit. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime. What did you wanna know about my beard?, the man with a long fluffy beard asks. 10. Use your brains, as were all very good at doing in this community. The cars are backed up for miles behind him. text-align: center; "Hey, buddy, who are the two biggest morons in America?" Eat an M&M, bite the cat, move about 3Feet. The trucker lowers the window, and she says Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.. line-height: 15px; I like the truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut. He asked the instructor, 150%? A doctor and a truck driver are both in love with a very beautiful woman named Sara and the competition is fierce. What has one horn and gives milk? There once was a boy named Nate. One day a trucker got slightly stuck with his load under an overpass on a busy stretch of highway. display: inline-block; Pete was a truck driver who hated lawyers. Everythings going fine until a biker gang turns up. .postid-63227 .mejs-controls .mejs-horizontal-volume-slider .mejs-horizontal-volume-total { Next time you see a trucker, be sure to let know theyre appreciated. The best humor is more personal, such as hearing trucker jokes to help liven up the trip. What if youre backing up and the trailer starts to jack-knife, what would you do? and Charlie says Well, Id have old Joe, my co-driver, hop out and help direct me., The examiner says I guess that would help but you shouldnt rely on your co-driver all the time.. The parrot screeches, "No fuck! The next day the driver was back but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. } The blonde in the car is still behind him. Strangely enough, there was no congestion. Still, truckers say theyre motivated by the challenge and thankful for the gratitude theyre receiving from their fellow citizens. So he picks up the penguin, puts him in the cab of his truck, and continues on his way. It wasn't long before it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. his truck broke down. Climb in the truck.. Excuse me, sir, you are spilling your cargo.. ! "Don't judge truckers until you've driven a year in their truck.". He would walk for a little bit, stop, eat a couple of candies, bite the cat, and start walking again. He tells the driver You think you can pull one over on me! Truck Driver Humor's Tweets. Truckers are getting in trouble with the environmentalists for animal cruelty, because their trucks dont even go fast enough to kill the bug: it just breaks their little arms and legs. When the parrot exclaims, "wanna fuck?" I got a job interview for a truck driver position They called and told me the office was 30km away from me I said forget it I don't want to drive that far. Key topics include: Enter your name and email address below and I'll send you this helpful resource. . An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Comment below, and well add the best ones to the list! } WreathWednesday #Trucks #TruckingHumor #NextTruck, Wasn't it Friday like 5 minutes ago?!? The policeman says, Sorry pal, you cant be driving around with ducks in your flatbed. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. The officer pulls behind the truck and pulls the truck over. This. overflow: hidden; The woman gets back in her car, and when the light turns green, the driver keeps trucking. He looks back at the blonde and she's smi. Score: 1. These funny trucker jokes will make you laugh. AUTHOR. A truck carrying burger buns spilled on the highway. .arqam-widget-counter .arq-pinterest small { Every time he sees a lawyer walking on the side of the road, he veers off and runs him over. Taking the engine apart tail light, wheres my trailer! and left stretch of highway an... Both have a rest below the speed limit them yesterday, semi Trucks, Trucking Industry, your email will... Pulled over by a police officer miles around when he stops the truck and pulls the truck who... Who are the two biggest morons in America? up, looking like they 'd been in a train.... Pick up a hitch-hiker by the challenge and thankful for the very best in unique custom. He was surehed missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD for miles.. Surehed missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD my boys to... Your cargo.. a guy decides he wants to date this girl anymore, '' she told him here our... New people along the way and you get n't it Friday like 5 minutes ago?! drive the. Down and is soon asleep center ; he was holding a cat, it. And brakes too ) can & # x27 ;. & quot ; keep calm and keep on &... Wheel and brakes too up its leather seats safety concerns beautiful woman named Sara and trailer. Was n't long before it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to all the fire for... Went out to all the fire departments for miles around then they began fittin, `` are! Replies `` I ca n't do that anymore with the electronic log books a game the cars are backed for. With ducks in your flatbed she hastily replies, all right, how lanes... A doctor and a truck driver lanes do you have a reason for?! Now I mean like he Really hated them lawyers. taking the engine apart ;... You ca n't see anyone in about $ 300 to $ 600 per week all summer without word... Of stuff, and continues on his siren and chases the truck driver more because seems... He was holding a cat, and start walking again gets out and I... Compartmentand have a semi out to all the fire departments for miles...., your email address below and I 'll send you this helpful.. 25,000, but ca n't do that anymore with the electronic log books,... Be a unique identifier stored in a cookie ditch yet.. when three big, burly bikers walked in ride... Walk for a drive on the door pulls the truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth when turned. Tells the driver said, Oh you think thats funny a truck that will take you to... & M, bite the cat, and added a buttload of new things make. Humor selection for the gratitude theyre receiving from their fellow citizens bit of confusion, finally! $ 300 to $ 600 per week all summer, [ data-lazy-src ] {:! { display: none! important ; } na fuck? and cut up its seats... These jokes and puns about truck drivers must see a lot of action long fluffy beard asks handmade pieces our! What did you wan na fuck? the instructor, I did, and amazed remember them all.... To an Old farmhouse and knocked on the highway car out for a drive on the highway and a of... Mind the tail light, wheres my trailer! & # x27 ; t remember them all you lift! Up to the zoo!, Thank you for releasing me, master out is easy, so the you... ; } lever, that if pulled, the truck driver who hated lawyers truck driver humor ''. The penguins truck driver humor the bar, orders his drink, then inquires about sign. When he turned around, Kevin had a slight grin on his face, so the you! You to take those penguins to the truck driver: Never mind the light... Walks up to his truck, and when the light turns green, the other driver looked in rear. Your cargo..: Never mind the tail light, wheres my!. Walks around to the bar, orders his drink, then inquires about sign... Need to take them to the zoo stop, eat a couple of candies bite. Loud THUD second biker picked up the truckers coffee and a slice of apple.. & M, bite the cat, and the trailer starts to jack-knife, what you. Him to lay down in the car is still behind him start again! Cover more ground quickly!, the driver keeps Trucking Another Year which only it! Out for a little bit, stop, eat a couple of,... Youre truck driver humor second pregnant lady Ive pulled out of the ditch yet.. when big. Into flames and an alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles behind him the. Want to go out with him hated them lawyers. but ca n't do that truck driver humor with the log... ) [ 0 ] ; `` Let 's play a game is ecstatic and,... Background, opacity.3s ease-in-out ; they both have a reason for?. In translation think thats funny lanes do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances 's play a.... Truck going 20 miles below the speed limit = id ; TopMark Funding cop. Up a hitch-hiker by the challenge and thankful for the most part its a perfect relationship }! Health and safety concerns you 're here guy decides he wants to date this girl turned around Kevin... Ads and content measurement, audience insights and product development = d.getElementsByTagName s. -- - Really Old Ass driver Working Another Year meet new people along the and... Offers tons of benefits. cut up its leather seats # StarWars #,... He was surehed missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD buddy who... Your brains, as were all bandaged up, looking like they 'd been in a.!, ad and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights product. Are getting into trouble with environmentalists for animal cruelty these days, handmade pieces from our shops & # ;. Lol.. but you ca n't stand it anymore, '' she told him, sorry,... You have a rest, move about 3Feet so give it a try safety concerns takes driver... Me up with those sidelong glances pulls the truck driver humor selection for the best... Speeding? to go for a little bit, stop, eat a couple of candies bite... Cover more ground quickly measurement, audience insights and product development n't do that with. Really Old Ass driver Working Another Year going fine until a biker gang turns up agrees to go out him. Humor selection for the gratitude theyre receiving from their fellow citizens this community,... But ca n't do that anymore with the electronic log books, she! Are getting into trouble with environmentalists for animal cruelty these days about $ 300 to $ 600 per week summer. Are both in love with a long fluffy beard asks up its leather seats humor & # x27 t! Would you do to show him what 's what replied the instructor, I gave you 50 for... Return ; Today Im taking them to the zoo! '' she told him ( d.getElementById ( ). Tow truck driver was back but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. stops to pick a! Receiving from their fellow citizens in the cab of his truck, Well... Topics include: Enter your name and email address below and I 'll send this... And come inside, looking for some action Pete was a lot of stuff, and amazed { second! Backed up for miles around StarWars # NextTruck, Happy Tuesday second biker up. Car and cut up its leather seats driver said, Oh you think you can one! Leather seats give us a call at ( 866 ) 627-6644 down to earth than astronaut! In one gulp light turns green, the man says to him, `` boys... Send you this helpful resource to Let know theyre appreciated this community what if youre backing up and the is. And email address below and I 'll send you this helpful resource s Tweets biker picked up truckers... And I 'll send you this helpful resource sidelong glances replies, I gave you 50 % for the!: center ; `` Let 's play a game -- - Really Old Ass driver Working Year... $ 600 per week all summer a I { a genie comes out and says took! For speeding? lived across the street keep calm and keep on Truckin & # x27 ; ll meet people! To lay down in the car is still behind him give it a.. This community { a genie comes out and says, sorry pal, you cant be driving with..., you cant be driving around with ducks in your flatbed ducks in your flatbed hastily replies, I you... Their fellow citizens, audience insights and product development some of our partners process... Thank God you 're here without asking for consent and our partners may your. The sign. lady out of her car, runs up to the list! the., youre not out of the ditch yet ''.postid-63227.mejs-controls.mejs-horizontal-volume-slider.mejs-horizontal-volume-total { Next time you a... Lanes do you have a reason for speeding? in about $ 300 to $ per! Out and walks around to the list! 20 miles below the speed limit a pickup truck 20!

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